We get some wonderful letters back from very happy clients. Megan wrote this the day after her session. She covers so many of the feelings that our clients talk about. It’s great to read about her fears, and then her results and how it changed her.
“A Woman Re-born”
The lights are low, and the music plays in the background. It is soothing, calming; in a way hypnotic. You are wearing a cute outfit you had hidden away in your closet. In the mirror you catch the eye of a fierce and fearless woman. Her makeup is flawless, yet virginal. Sweet and sexy. You are sitting on a leopard print chair with a new-found level of confidence. That woman in the mirror is you. YOU are the subject. Nothing in the world matters. It is just you and your photographer. Scattered across the floor are the demons that were hidden in the garments you were so shy to shed. It is you and all of your inhibitions and fears. Yet, you are not afraid. You are not shy. In any other scenario or situation, you would be ashamed or afraid to bare your soul for another to see. But this is different. This is about you and your exquisiteness. This is your inner spirit showing and shining through.
Often women are obsessed with our looks. We spend time to prepare ourselves for the day ahead. We covert our bodies in the ways best suited for our shape so as to appease the esthetical eye. We worry about our hair, our makeup. We fret about our weight, our breast size the shape of our hips. We worry about everything else too: the kids, the bills, whether or not we pulled the meat out of the freezer to thaw in time for when we prep dinner. We as women are not only giving beings, but we are living beings. Yet, so many times we forget about our own self worth. We get caught up in the everyday routine that has become our normalcy; our routine. What happened to our definition and identification of ourselves WITH ourselves? What is- and more importantly WHERE is our an inner spirit?
When I stood in front of Mark in full nude, I was nervous. I was afraid. What if my thighs were too big? What if my one breast WAS noticeably larger than the other? What if all the things I hated about my body were the things that stood out most? I worried and humoured these fears for a moment too long until I had realized that Mark never thought these things, rather it was myself who had placed me under these titles. No one told me to look at myself with such harsh judgement. No one told me that I was unattractive or unfit. I told myself these things. I remembered the woman in the mirror. Her devilish smile taunted me and teased me: “Why hold back?” Seeing her courage made me see that I WAS the same woman, and the only thing I would gain by holding back was nothing at all. When you realize that you are gorgeous as you are, you are almost reborn with a new sense of self. The expression on the face of a man who is in awe and appreciation of your beauty is life changing. There is no sexual connotation. No expectations for poses, or themes. There is nothing but a man with a camera who sees you and sees through you. It suddenly becomes obvious that you were always a lovely being and you always were divine. Mark makes it a reality and brings that inner spirit to the surface. He subtly makes you release and next thing you know; you are braver, more proud and damn satisfied with how unique you are and always were. When I did my shoot with Mark, I was able to cross the bridge over to myself. I let the demons that followed me die on that studio floor. It was remarkable to realize that I COULD open the door of self worth, and close the door of self pity.
I loved my session with Mark. In as little as an afternoon, I changed form a timid and fragile woman, into a stronger woman. I identified with my inner spirit and realized that it had been suppressed for far too long. Mark showed me that I am a woman: pure, unwavering and strong. I am not a model. I am not perfect, but that is what makes me perfect. He showed me that I am worth the freedom of my own exploration. I deserved to be lavished and treated like a queen. Mark enabled me to dig into my own complex mind and find that very part of me that had been dormant. He captured the REAL me that I had hidden, and he saw that woman in all her glory.
If one were to ask me what my inner spirit was, I would say that it is the woman who was discovered by that man and his camera. It is one of the greatest feelings in the world. You ARE good enough, beautiful enough, YOU have the vibrancy of the sun. Yes, you are the glow in the room and the glimmer in each and every photo. You are the work of art. Feeling myself come alive was incredible. That stunning woman always was and form this day on will always be me.